Life at Open Heart Publishing

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To our concerned parents and faculty:

It has come to my attention that many of our students are in possession of “A Children’s Book of Necromancy,” written by Debrin Case and illustrated by Darcy Melton. The book encourages children to mesmerize up to twelve of their friends, then force them to unwillingly participate in ceremonies in which they reanimate the dead.

Although “A Children’s Book of Necromancy” is clearly marked “Not recommended for children” on the cover, it is a coloring book and sells for just $12 from Open Heart Publishing, an amount any child can save from their allowance.

The inherent danger of this book cannot be overstated, and parents should closely monitor their children’s phone calls and activities. Make sure you know where your child is going and what they are doing. If they seem confused or are acting strange, they may have become a victim of a necromancer.

If your child exhibits any of the following signs, especially following a telephone conversation, do not permit them to leave the house, and call a local clergy member to assist with exorcism.

· Swirling spirals in place of eyes
· Sudden willingness to follow commands
· Insistence upon leaving the house without a specified destination
· Penchant for dark robes
· Chanting or humming

As long as these reanimation ceremonies are kept to a minimum, our students need not fear the zombie horde. I know we can count on your help in these troubled times.

Sincerely,

Dr. Nigel Newsom
Headmaster, Schadenfreude Academy

I recently asked all the authors from An Honest Lie, Vol. 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child to answer the same question: How do you think your work for An Honest Lie relates to the theme Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child?

As you read these answers, don’t forget that you can help your favorite author win a book deal with Open Heart Publishing by either leaving a comment through their voting and purchase portal, here: http://ahlvol1vote.debrincase.com/, which is good for one point, or by purchasing your copy of An Honest Lie through their portal for 500 points.

Enjoy, and keep an eye on this blog, because The Children’s Book of Necromancy is coming soon!

Ilan Herman, author of Dilemma, said, “My protagonist in Dilemma starts out encouraging the delinquency of his inner child by being a calloused corporate lawyer. As the story evolves, he grows up and realizes what a jerk he’d become … and where the healing for him begins. ”

To vote for Ilan by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Ilan Herman

Bob Clark, who penned Whatever Lulu Wants, had this to say. “I think that every character in my story Whatever Lulu Wants has an inner and outer child who is very delinquent. I often have no heroes in my stories because I am a closet delinquent and my characters live my inner child’s life.”

To vote for Bob Clark by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Bob Clark

Eric Trant, who wrote The Apple Tree, said, “The Apple Tree involves two boys who question the ultimate authority: The Almighty God of Heaven and Universe. And isn’t that the definition of our childhood delinquencies, to question authority, and with the impudence of youth believe we know better? These are my insolent, delinquent youths. They’re geniuses. Because they say so.”

To vote for Eric by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Eric Trant

The Apple Tree illustration by Eric Carbrey

The mind behind Gran’s Prophesy, C.B. Calsing, said, “Children are creators. They create everyday, whether it’s playing house with friends or baking mud pies. Adults, on the other hand, generally do not create. Very few try to find some sort of outlet for that spark that used to burn so brightly as a child. One speaker I saw at a recent International Reading Association workshop pointed out that adults always promise themselves they’ll start journaling or taking a class to learn pottery or painting or whatever — trying desperately to find that drive to create they had as children — but they seldom take it to the next level.
I am very fortunate to be able to write fiction. I like to think that the childishness in me never died like it has in some people. The plays I performed on the lawn in the yard when I was six and seven are replaced by these flights of inked fancy. I think in writing, I continuously encourage the delinquency of my inner minor (she drinks quite a lot). In that way, I am a lot like Keldon/ Rupert in “Gran’s Prophecy.” We both had dreams as children and found ways to make those dreams work as adults without crushing the innocence and brightness within. Keldon/ Rupert allows himself, as an adult, the same hope, the same drive to imagine and create, that he had as a child. For this, initially he is ostracized, but when he finds the proper outlet, he is accepted.
I hope that readers take away from this the idea that it is okay to be a little crazy. It is okay to play with mud and laugh hysterically. It is okay to try to fit on a Big Wheel and ride around the block. We all need that release of childishness to give us balance. Like Keldon/ Rupert, we all need to remember our dreams as children and let out inner child out to create again.”

To vote for C.B. Calsing by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for C.B. Calsing

M.E. Johnson, the author of Crossing the Guard and senior editor at Open Heart Publishing, said, “As a child, there was not only the self encouraged delinquency that could be found in all of us, there was also the urge to drag others into joining us in those same-said high-jinks. Somehow, it was always much more fun when you could get others involved in it. I think that directly relates to my work for An Honest Lie. Part of my job is finding good authors to publish, good authors to join in the high-jinks going on at An Honest Lie.”

To vote for M.E. Johnson by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for M.E. Johnson

Crossing the Guard illustration by Kelly Jacobi

Robert Dean, who wrote Blue Eyeliner, said, “I’m a 13-year-old boy trapped in a 28-year-old man’s body. It’s hard for me to even admit I’m a man. How I ever got to adult status is beyond me or my comprehension.”

To vote for Robert Dean by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Robert Dean

Alexander Francani, the author of Honey, Legos, a Squirrel, Marcus, and Me, said, “I have an old man that is grieving after the death of his beloved wife. She was the only good thing in his life, then she died. He is broken down by life. Most people would say that there is a grieving period and when that is over, it is time to move on with life again. Well, our hero decides to place himself in fake comas so his daughter will take care of him. An outsider would find this to be quite childish. However, he is not a child, nor is he acting like a child. He is a self-indulgent old man who’s broken and afraid to or unwilling to be fixed. It isn’t until later on in the story that he is blessed with childish inclinations again. He goes to McDonald’s, orders a Happy meal, and learns about Love. I believe that a child, and the delinquency thereof, is the beautiful resilliance and faith that allows a person to bounce back from even the greatest of tragedies. Children don’t yet know that giving up is an option. So they live. In my story, it took a child, to teach my old man to live again. Oh crap. That sounds trite and overwrought.”

To vote for Alexander Francani by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Alexander Francani

Victoria Joyner, who penned July Burning Bright, said, “Everybody will go screwy for something. Over a girl. Or a big brother who’s always been everything you’re not. Or because a holiday just has to live up to expectations. Or just because it’s summertime and summer was made for misbehavior. Considering what we’ll do when we’re older, know better, and no longer laugh when someone says “Uranus” (or aren’t supposed to), it’s pretty clear the inner child doesn’t need much encouragement to step into the limelight … a very gentle shoulder tap will do.”

To vote for Victoria Joyner by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Victoria Joyner

July Burning Bright illustration by Erin Marissa Russell

Germaine Shames, who wrote Counter-Indications of Trance on the Male Libido, said, “In my story, Counter-Indications of Trance on the Male Libido, under hypnosis the subconcious mind of a grown man comes out to play like a delinquent child. Naughty, naughty…”

To vote for Germaine Shames by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Germaine Shames

Alyssa Cooper, the author of My Dead Isn’t Dead, had this to say. “In my story, the narrator does as most children do when confronted with a situation that defies reality: she accepted it. Rather than taking an introspective approach to what has happened or questioning her own involvement in creating the situation, the narrator responds by placing the problem where she does not have to analyze her own actions. Never at any point does she begin to question how she might have gone about things a different way or what could have prevented things from transpiring in the manner they do. Essentially, the narrator remains in an altered state of logic, unable to recognize that it was her own flaws that cause this catalytic reaction in her malleable reality.”

To vote for Alyssa Cooper by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for Alyssa Cooper

William Terry, who wrote Situational Dyslexia, said, “Well, this is a question that I have asked myself several times. Situational Dyslexia is a story that ties together self-sabotage and insecurity. In my opinion, irrational action, like setting your house on fire to avoid a girlfriend, is something I could see myself doing when I was very young. I am twenty-six now, but I definitely would have done this at twenty-five. My inner child is a delinquent anyway, a delinquent with a book of matches and a mind that forgets where he put the gasoline.”

To vote for William Terry by leaving a comment or making a purchase, go here: Vote for William Terry

From left: Erin Marissa Russell, Melissa Cantrelle, Alyssa Cooper, Rhia Johnson, Eric Trant, Jon C. Forisha, ME Johnson

Way back in July of this year, several of the Dallas-local authors of An Honest Lie, Vol. 1 met with publisher and fellow author Debrin Case and editors ME and Rhia Johnson at Liberty Hall to rub elbows so when we have events things won’t be all awkward. Also because we are an incredibly talented lot, and it’s always good to share drinks and discussion with a table of authors, editors, and publishers.

You can read Eric Trant’s musings on the evening at his blog, Digging With the Worms.

I’d like to say, before you read Eric’s blog and start wondering, that I only carry batteries in my purse (both AA and AAA) because I usually need them for my digital camera or voice recorder. I have another job as managing editor at the Brookhaven Courier, and it’s the end of the world if my voice recorder runs out of batteries.

From left: Erin Marissa Russell, Melissa Cantrelle, Alyssa Cooper, and Rhia Johnson.

At the time, I was an artist for An Honest Lie- Rhia Johnson was the junior editor as well as an author- and it was fascinating to hear the authors talk about their stories. I’d already drawn the illustrations, based on a scene Debrin had described, but I didn’t know who the people were, what was happening, or even what the stories were really about. The authors had a lot of fun hearing about one another’s work, too.

Don’t forget to support your favorite contributor to An Honest Lie, Vol. 1 by doing one or both of the following:
* Leave them a comment by clicking their name on this link: http://ahlvol1vote.debrincase.com/. A comment earns them one point toward a book deal with Open Heart Publishing.
* Purchase An Honest Lie, Vol. 1 through their portal by clicking on their name here: http://ahlvol1vote.debrincase.com/. A purchase earns them 500 points toward a book deal with Open Heart Publishing!

Also, there are only 95 days left to work on submissions for An Honest Lie, Vol. 2: they’re due March 15, 2010. Read over the submission guidelines here: http://anhonestlie.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/its-that-time-again/

An Honest Lie, Volume 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child is now officially for sale! That’s right, copies now are up for grabs. Support your favorite contributor by purchasing from their portal at this link:

An Honest Lie Voting and Purchase Portal

Even if you aren’t ready to purchase just yet, leaving a comment helps your favorite author win a book deal, so don’t be shy.

Vote for your favorite An Honest Lie author today and help them win a book deal!

Every year An Honest Lie showcases new authors who are all vying for the opportunity to earn a book deal with Open Heart Publishing, and that is where your help is required. In order to win this book deal, they require your votes.

Just leave a comment at the link below, on their voting portal, to give them one vote. Or if you are serious about helping your favorite author win this book deal, then give them 500 points by purchasing a copy of An Honest Lie Vol. 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child through the link below.

You can either vote and/or purchase copies directly at:
http://ahlvol1vote.debrincase.com. This link will also provide you with story excerpts and bio info for each author.

So vote today, vote often, and encourage others to vote for your favorite authors here.

Voting ends October 31st, 2010.

Once again, here’s that link!
http://ahlvol1vote.debrincase.com.

Joining us today is Debrin Case, founder and publisher of Open Heart Publishing and author of “Edgar’s Last Christmas,” a story in the upcoming “An Honest Lie, Volume 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of your Inner Child.”

Debrin, what do the names “Open Heart Publishing” and “An Honest Lie” mean to you?

The name Open Heart Publishing was actually my girlfriend’s idea.

Figure it out for yourself, it is a mystery and one I do not plan on revealing.

One of the upcoming books from Open Heart Publishing is “The Cave of Colors.” This book is part of the Opportunity project. Can you tell me a little about the Opportunity project?

Open Heart Publishing works hand in hand with youth organizations to instruct the future generations about the positive changes they can make in the world around them, as well as the limitless opportunity their lives will offer them so long as they are willing to look for those opportunities. Through the crafts of writing, art, editing, marketing and publishing these groups create a book the children then sell, and 100% of the profits benefit a charity of the children’s choosing.

To be considered as a candidate for having the youth of your charity become involved with the Opportunity project, express your interest via email at opportunityproject@debrincase.com.

In addition to everything else on your plate, you’ve just declared your intent to participate in NaNoWriMo, in which participants write a 175-page novel in 30 days. How do you possibly have time to do this, and would you encourage others to do the same?

Honestly, I don’t have time for this. As every writer knows, life gets in the way of writing.

Whether I complete the goal or not, I am looking forward to challenging myself in this fashion. Would I recommend others to attempt this? I would and I do, go ahead and visit the official site: www.nanowrimo.org. If you feel up to the challenge, sign up today.

Sounds like a double dog dare. Who or what would you say has been most instrumental to the development of your voice as a writer?

Everything.

From the guy that shot me the finger at me when I was seven years old to the first teacher who encouraged me to pursue writing as an avenue of creative expression. It’s all in there.

Tell me about your story in “An Honest Lie, Volume 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child,” “Edgar’s Last Christmas.”

“Edgar’s Last Christmas” is a tale told in a narrative voice about the predicament a child may have to face if they happen to be slovenly or perhaps ungrateful, or it could explain the reason why socks are the least-desired present under a Christmas tree.

If you need an awesome gift idea for Christmas, just remember that people love books, especially anthologies (hint hint).

What was the most exciting part of working on An Honest Lie, and what was the most frustrating part?

The most exciting part was reading every one of the four thousand submissions received for this anthology’s first issue. We received stories from all over the country, and reading each author’s unique perspective on the theme (Encouraging the Delinquency of Your Inner Child) was truly exciting.

We passed on some excellent stories, a few feelings were hurt, and though we believe we chose the best tales that adhered to the theme, there were a few great ones that slipped through the cracks.

You’re the author of another upcoming book from Open Heart Publishing, “A Children’s Book of Necromancy.” Tell me a little about that.

I think it would be best to begin by asking, what is necromancy? Necromancy is the magical art associated with death, and more specifically, with the dead.

And besides all of that, it’s also a coloring book. This book is not recommended for children.

What other projects are upcoming at Open Heart Publishing?

Well of course we have the next installment of An Honest Lie. This time is Volume 2: Delusions of Insignificance, The Next Opportunity Project, and we also have three new projects that will be revealed in the months ahead.

Let’s assume you’re on Death Row. It doesn’t matter why. What meal would you choose for your last?

For some reason this question conjures up images in my imagination of being killed by a French firing squad, and so if I am going to go I might as well have the perfect meal.

If the bullet wouldn’t get me, the meal surely would.

I’m seeing two themes: bacon and fried. Very recently, the theme for An Honest Lie, Volume 2 was announced: Delusions of Insignificance. How was the theme chosen?

The themes that are chosen for An Honest Lie are themselves a definition of our masthead. If you pay attention to the themes, perhaps you will be able to discover the meaning of it all. I’m giving out a lot of clues here, think of it like a riddle, or an extended Koan, if you prefer.

Finally, Debrin, do you believe in life after death in any form?

I believe in life after death in many forms. One of my favorites happens to be in the form of various kinds of art, music, stagecraft, dance and most assuredly stories.

As to religious/ spiritual views about the subject, or theories involving the environmental recycling patterns of particles of subatomic matter, these things would be better discussed over a stiff drink and enough humor to alleviate whatever ails the world at that particular moment.

Like storybook characters of old, Debrin Case has traveled through “Faery,” that semi-mythical realm that resides someplace between the ears and the heart. Like many fellow pilgrims ahead of him who have survived this transformation, no one is quite sure whether he came out a poet or a madman. As a matter of fact, neither is he.

When asked of the validity of his tales he will normally reply, “My stories are 50% bullshit … and the rest is questionable, but at least they are honest.”

M.E. Johnson, senior editor of Open Heart Publishing, was kind enough to answer a few questions for our readers about her literary life. In addition to being an editor extraordinaire, M.E. penned “Crossing the Guard,” a story in the soon-upcoming “An Honest Lie, Volume 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of your Inner Child.”

Welcome, M.E. Tell us about how you became involved with Open Heart Publishing and An Honest Lie.

I became involved in OHP and AHL when I became a writer, way back when (a date lost to infamy,) when I decided to be a serious writer versus a just for fun writer. (Don’t we all project our efforts into the future and base our decision on what we see?) The catalyst for our meeting (me and OHP and AHL) was Debrin Case, publisher of OHP and most excellent friend.

So, you’ve been writing for a while. What other artistic endeavors do you pursue?

I have always loved acting and have managed one way or another to be involved with it since I played the wicked step-mother in a junior high production of “Snow White and Her Friends,” a comedy spoof on the fairy tale. Over the years I have performed on stage and in film and have many fond memories from each. I am also an accomplished pianist, although I have never performed on the piano other than at recitals for students, and when I was a teen, to get the excuse of taking a break from work at Skakey’s Pizza Parlor (by playing piano for the dine-in customers in the restaurant.)

So you caught the acting bug early as well. When you’re attending a stage play for “Peter Pan,” do you clap for Tinkerbell to come back to life, or are you one of those types that sits on your hands looking embarassed?

No, I cry my eyes out. Seriously, who could NOT clap for Tinkerbell? She is every girl’s wanna-be, second only to none, including that princess.

Absolutely. Although Tiger Lily is slinkster cool, too. Switching gears, in the forward to An Honest Lie, you say the short story has the most demanding job of any literary form. What short story you’ve read would you say is the most well-crafted and why?

I don’t think I could pick just one. As an editor, I would have to say that any story that didn’t have spelling or grammatical or concept errors would be a most well-crafted story. As an editor, I would also have to say that any story that told me a story would be a most well-crafted story. And I would have to say that any story that had a voice would be a most well-crafted story. And also, as an editor, I would have to say, definitively, that every story has merit.

You’re in an interesting position, as many editors are, being both an editor and a writer. It’s strange to be on both sides of the process. Can you tell us about how you go about writing a story?

Would that be Plan A, Plan B, Plan K, or Plan Z? Driving seems to help. I’ve come up with some of my best ideas while driving from Point A to Point B. Staring at the computer screen does help, as long as I make my mind stick to thinking instead of chores/bills/errands and other responsibilities. Daydreaming is a favorite. I can work on that one for hours on end, no matter where I am. And last, a favorite method, “Mad Pull,” as I call it. It’s great fun. Take some slips of paper and write nouns (button, knife, rock, cookie, hat, Cheerio …) on them. This is random free association here, so be creative. On some more, write adverbs, on others, adjectives. On others write moods/feelings. And on others, write numbers. Put the slips for each group into an envelope (or box) of its own, and mix them up. Then, pull one (or two, or three, depending on how hard you want to make this) slips out of each envelope (box) and make a story out of what you get. (No cheating by just using the word.)

Great tips! It sounds like you really know how to challenge yourself into creative thought. What’s the most difficult story you’ve ever written, and what made it difficult?

“The End,” a fictional story about the possible lives of the known victims of the 79AD eruption of Mount Vesuvius. What made it difficult? Having a page limit.

What an exciting premise for a story! Tell me, what do the masthead, “An Honest Lie,” and the theme, “Encouraging the Delinquency of your Inner Child,” mean to you?

To me, they mean that which is in all of us, that playful and mischievous part of each of us that would like to do pranks, surprise you, and show you in that odd way that children do that today is a pretty darn good day.

That’s a great way to put it. Speaking of mischief, have you ever considered committing a crime?

Heck yeah. I got a list. Wanna see?

Um, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want you to incriminate yourself. Why don’t you tell us about how you became a writer instead?

Like all of us, there’s always been a writer in me. In school I was in charge of the Humor Department for the school paper … that would be one joke per week, please make them funny. I didn’t realize then that the joke was on me. I thought it was going to be an easy job. Later in life I wrote the monthly newsletter for a production company and got permission to be as creative as I wanted, so I did. With the passion for writing born and pampered, I moved on, writing for the comedy/improve troupe “Troupe Movement.” That also included writing mystery games and audience participation skits. And there was quite a host of corporate media to write in order to keep a roof over my head. All of this led me on to writing screenplays, novels, and short stories (among other things.)

You really tend to combine elements of the arts in your life. I noticed on your blog, Em’s End, that “Dallas” is among your stage and film credits. Since you seem the best person to ask, who shot JR?

Who shot him? I don’t know. I didn’t watch that episode. I did get to be an extra in one episode of “Dallas,” but JR wasn’t in that episode, so I didn’t get to see him, either.

Got it- you never saw JR and I never saw that list. Why do you believe people should read your story, “Crossing the Guard,” in “An Honest Lie“?

Well, I really think it would be more of a question of why I want people to read my story. I thought it was good, and hope you do too. But we won’t know for sure until you go read it, will we?

I really enjoyed your whimsical tale, and I bet our readers will, too. Let’s talk about other people’s writing for a moment. What authors’ work do you think will be regarded as classic literature in the future?

Seriously, I think we have come to an age when it’s not the author who joins the ranks of classical literature, but the story itself. Does anyone even know who wrote ET? Who wrote Jurassic Park? It’s another one of those precious things we are losing to technology, like letter writing (and I mean by hand, with a pen, on paper, posted with a stamp, carried to its destination by a man on a really fast pony.) Today we just type a short quip on an impersonal keyboard and hit the send button. We’re going to lose libraries soon, too. Mark my words.

Facebook is putting so many hardworking ponies with families to raise out of work. And it’s a good point that the story often gets more notice than the author. What’s the best story you’ve read lately?

After running out of fresh picks at my local library, I’ve sort of been on sabbatical from reading books. I did read a very interesting biography of Marie Antoinette recently. And I would like to re-read “The Iliad.”

That’s pretty heavy reading for a sabbatical. Say, do you believe in ghosts?

Of course. I see ghosts all the time. Don’t you? The real question though, is do I believe in Ghost ‘hunters/seekers/banishers.’

I don’t know about you, but I can’t figure out why they have to turn the lights off to talk to ghosts that are perfectly happy to throw dishes around in plain daylight. Let’s end this interview on a cheery note. Do any philosophical problems recurrently bother you? What are they?

Absolutely, lots of them do. They bother me all the time. It seems we haven’t learned a thing in all these years. We still have the same philosophical problems today that we had back when Pliny and Socrates tried to spell philosophy out for us. The only difference is that they had answers, and we ignored them. Our lives are filled with philosophical issues. We wage wars based on philosophical decisions. We philosophize about the merit and morals of the individual, and for that matter, anything that runs contrary to our way of thinking. And all of us, just like Plato, ponder the peril of the soul, asking that age old question about life after death.

M.E. Johnson is currently a freelance writer and Senior Editor of Open Heart Publishing. Among her published works are Call of the Quitter, published in Dreams of Everyday by The Poetry Guild and The Story of Why Your Mother Always Told You To Stand Up Straight,” published by The Village Wit. M.E. was co-producer/founder and cast member of Troupe Movement a live comedy-improve troupe performing at numerous venues in Dallas, Texas.
Her film credits include Dallas (Lorimar Productions); Born on the 4th of July (Oliver Stone, Dir.); Love Hurts (Bud Yorkin, Dir.); Pancho Barnes (CBS/R. Heffron, Dir.); Dead Solid Perfect (HBO/B. Ross, Dir.) and Talk Radio (Oliver Stone, Dir.)

Stage credits include Fantoms, of the Opera and Band of Merry Charlatans II (Runway Theater); 39th Annual Grid Iron Show (Bob Glen, Dir.); Mr. Rambo’s Neighborhood, Stupid Cat Tricks, and The Lady and the Clarinet (PAS Playhouse.)
Other projects include Assistant Producer for Faults (R & S Production) and Guest Editor for the premier edition of Texas Film/Video News.

M.E.’s company, ThinkingWorks SP, offers speech coaching; on-the-fly writing and editing for public speaking; and writing/editing services for all applications within the corporate, multimedia, public speaking, film/video, and stage platforms.

You can visit M.E.’s blog at: http://www.blogcatalog.com/user/EmsEnd
and her writing portfolio at: http://www.blogcatalog.com/blog/fumbles-world

Here, with an eye that can see beyond (or is that behind?) the grave, is Robert Dean, author of “Blue Eyeliner” from “An Honest Lie, Volume 1: Encouraging the Delinquency of your Inner Child.”

Hi Robert. Thanks for joining us. Let me start this off with a really heavy and important question. What do you think is the meaning of the masthead, “An Honest Lie?”

“An honest Lie,” to me, is an underscoring of life. People tell white lies daily to save face or someone’s feelings. We tell lies with the best intentions possible. So the name is an extension of what we do daily and we don’t even realize it. Go human race!

Go! Speaking of the human race, then, what do you feel is your most important contribution to that human race?

I’d like to say my writing but that would be pretentious and lame. As it stands right now, I’m going to go with nothing. You’ll know my worth after I’m dead. If it is my writing, then score one for the good guys. If not, then hopefully by the time I hit the grave, something will have worked itself out.

I’d like to think that too. Speaking of the grave, Robert, are there any skeletons in your closet that you believe our readers might find fascinating?

It’s all out there. Email me a question and I’ll answer it. Hell, read my blog and you’ll find a graveyard’s worth of skeletons for someone’s sick pleasures to enjoy. I don’t hide anything. It’s a matter of if you’re willing to ask. I don’t do drugs but I’ll drink myself into an early demise. I’ve had sex with girls and I’m left handed. There’s a start. Start your mental engines.

(You can visit Robert Dean at www.twistedworldofrobertdean.com)

Back to the here and now, Robert, here’s another heavy duty question. What do you feel are the important symbols and icons of culture in the 21st century?

I don’t pay any attention to pop culture outside of what is shoved in my face and I have zero ability to deter myself from it. If I had to guess, I’d say Apple/Mac, and now that Michael Jackson is dead, he’s going to get some pretty severe hero worship forever now. Either way, I’m pretty happy avoiding all thoughts about stuff like that. Let me wallow in my own corner of the universe where I could care less what Kim Kardashian is wearing or how we’re continually making ourselves dumber via text speak or Googling everything known to man.

A convincing argument. Let me change directions now. How about a question concerning “way back when.” Were you ever been a bed wetter?

No, I’ve never been one to piss the bed but I have shared a bed with a female who had too much drink and no nighttime pee control. Needless to say, I was not happy with the morning result. I don’t enjoy waking up wet. Ever.

Well put, and I’m sure your sentiments are shared. Changing track again, what other sorts of creative writing are you currently involved in?

Currently, I’m finishing my second full-length novel and I’ve got a variety of short stories written. All the while I continue to be a contributing writer for Offbeat magazine. I also write love poems to all of the women who’ve broken my heart. I cut them into my chest and stand in front of their windows screaming the words (think some serious John Cusack type stuff) … I’m kidding. Seriously, I’d never do that. What if it rains?

Good point. So now, what, or who, inspires you to become a better writer?

Life inspires me to become a better writer. If you’re going to write the life, you better live it. I moved to New Orleans because I knew the gloves would be off and I’d experience things here that I couldn’t imagine elsewhere. I’ve sat in bars next to fat bald guys with beards who happened to be in wedding dresses. I’ve seen a bondage bunny bar hop, zombie parades, homeless street fights. I’ve watched people vomit on themselves and never miss a beat. I’ve heard lovers scream bloody murder at one another in front of my house at all hours of the night and with zero respect for anyone who might have been hearing. I’ve been blind drunk every night for over 40 days in a row. I’ve woken up in strange beds and in the back of cars. I’ve got stories that could be scenes in everything from “Deuce Bigalow” to “Silence of the Lambs.” I’m the master of relationships that end up as flaming balls of ill placed feelings and major depression. I have a severe habit of loving the wrong kind of girls and letting them ruin my life … just another morbid detail in the twisted thing that I’ve been a part of for 28 years and counting. Living life at a million miles per hour is what keeps me relevant. If I’m going to try and capture the dust of what life is on the dark side, I better do my best to know what I’m talking about.

And that’s a wrap for our interview with Robert Dean, author of Blue Eyeliner.

Visit Robert Dean at
www.twistedworldofrobertdean.com

Robert Dean is a freelance writer, author, and poet from New Orleans, LA. Born on the Southside of Chicago in 1981, he studied English and writing throughout his formative school career but never considered it something more than a hobby. After taking a compositional writing class his senior year of high school and meeting a teacher that changed his perspective on the art, he decided to take up writing as a career, for better or worse. Graduating with top honors from the Chicago Center of Broadcasting, he learned the journalism side of writing. While the other students were busy getting ready to look good on camera, he was busy reading books. Dean has worked for NBC, ABC, The Michiana Entertainer, and has had freelance pieces published in online journals. He has also contributed to various independent ‘zines’ that have came and gone throughout the years. Currently, he is a staff writer for the world-renowned Offbeat music magazine and has gotten to write about and interview some of the most exciting musicians to come out of New Orleans. Leaving Chicago to pursue his writing career, Dean moved to Louisiana to seek out new ways to expand his mind and dive into a life where fiction meets reality. Since the move, he’s written a full length novel titled “In the Arms of Nightmares” that is currently being shopped for publication. He is also writing a collection of short stories titled “The Snakes in the Garden.”